The greatest Kris Kringle present known to man
I’m sitting here with a severe lack of chest hair tonight after experiencing male waxing for the first time (it was an outside broadcast for a beauty salon and we both fully ‘experienced’ the beauty salon ‘experience’ – my co host got his teeth whitened, I got my chest waxed) but not even the smooth effect on my freshly waxed beer gut can compare to the pleasure of finding the best sub $20 Kris Kringle present for someone you know next to nothing about ever so far…
Behold, in all its glory…
THE OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG!
Purrfect!
Yes indeed, it is an overpriced mug with a cat on it wearing Amy Winehouse’s signature do. And yes I did blow $15 of my $20 maximum budget on this cup of glory. And there in lies the beauty of such a useless present: there is no reason why such a thing should exist.
I mean did Amy ever sing about cats? Did a cat ever sing like Amy? Were coffee/tea/hot bonnox drinkers missing a piece of their soul before this union of a housecat and a deceased singer came together in cup form?
Where is the logic in such a thing?
Which is why it’s a brilliant gift to wrap up and give to your Kris Kringle present receiver this year. For a number of reasons including:
a) It’ll be a complete surprise when unwrapped. You just can’t prepare yourself for the attack of awesome that is the OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG. It might look empty, but it’s chockers full of ‘different’ with more than a dash of ‘WTF?’
b) Both cat, Amy Winehouse and cup fans in general will enjoy this kitsch combination
c) Your Kris Kringle gift will be completely original and it’s highly unlikely that more than one OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG will appear at your Kris Kringle unwrapping ceremony (unless thousands of Kris Kringle buyers read this post then rush out and buy them all in a mad OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG buying frenzy.
d) Unless you’ve pre-warned everyone what you’re going to blow your 20 sheckels on (namely the OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG) no one will have any idea it came from you. How do you play Kris Kringle detective with such a useless gift? Unless you sport a massive ‘I LOVE AMY WINEHOUSE R.I.P’ gravestone tattoo on your cleavage, I’m pretty sure you’re safe.
Not me, therefore I'm safe.
Fair suck of the sav though – technically in a word, it’s overpriced crap. Yeah okay wise guy, that is two words but you get my high speed drifting. $15 for a stupid mug that not even cat cup collectors would probably shell out for and true Winehouse diehards would baulk at. In all honesty there’s probably much more amusing and relevant coffee cups at your local $2 store. And it sure as hell won’t make your nasty instant coffee taste any better.
But in a world of toy mooses that crap candy when you press their heads, a whiteboard that reads ‘who I am going to destroy today and everything else that I’ve unwrapped on the receiving end of a KK present, it’s perfect. It’s so bad, it’s deliciously good. Long live completely irrelevant cup tributes to singers long gone.
OVERPRICED AMY WINEHOUSE CAT MUG – available at your local overpriced newsagent today.
Merry Kris Kringle everybody!